推@Bwaah?的没品洛奇段子转载翻译【剧透可能】

eternal

111.

[In the past]

Cichol: Hey, we're both single and well… I don'twant to be alone when I’m old, so let's make pact.

Morrighan: Okay, if we’re still single whenwe're old we’ll…

[In sync]

Cichol: Marry each other.

Morrighan: Kill each other.

【从前】

锁孔：嘿，我们都是独自一人（单身）以及……我不想到我老的时候还是那么孤独，所以我们来做个约定。

茉莉安：好吧，如果我们老了的时候我们还是单身，我们会……

（同时）

锁孔：和对方结婚。

茉莉安：杀了对方。

112.

Milletian: If you're being chased byBeimnech, you're both running for your life.

米莱西安：如果你在被贝因克追逐，你同时也会在逃命。

（我真的好想把being chased翻译成追求X）

113.

Deirbhile: Mark my words, I will ruin yourhappiness, no matter the cost!!

Milletian: My happiness...?

Milletian: You think I'm happy??

戴尔布拉：记住我的话！我会毁掉你的幸福，不惜一切代价！！

米莱西安：我的幸福……

米莱西安：你觉得我很幸福？？

114.

Milletian: This is my ex-boyfriend,Llywelyn.

Llywelyn: You have to stop introducing melike that.

Llywelyn, showing a ring: I'm their husband.

米莱西安：这是我前男朋友，卢埃林。

卢埃林：你不要再这样介绍我。

卢埃林（展示一枚戒指）：我是他的丈夫。

115.

Milletian: I've been dropping them the mostinsanely obvious hints for five weeks now. No response.

Talvish: Wow, they sound stupid.

Milletian: But they're not. They're reallysmart actually. Just… dense.

Talvish: Maybe you need to be more obvious?Like, I don't know… "Hey. I love you."

Milletian: I guess you're right. Hey,Talvish, I love you.

Talvish: See? Just like that.

Milletian:

Talvish: If that flies over their headthen, sorry Milletian, but they're too dumb for you.

米莱西安：五个星期以来我已经给了他们最明显的暗示。没有回应。

托尔维斯：哇，听起来他们很蠢。

米莱西安：但实际上他们不是。他们实际上很聪明。只是……愚钝。

托尔维斯：也许你得表示得更明显？比如，我不知道……“嘿，我喜欢你。”

米莱西安：也许你是对的。嘿，托尔维斯，我爱你。

托尔维斯：看？就像这样。

米莱西安：

托尔维斯：如果这话那时掠过了他们的头顶，抱歉米莱西安，但他们对你来说太蠢了。

（最后一句我怀疑实际含义是“如果他们还是听不懂这话，他们蠢得配不上米莱西安”……但这太主观了所以保留直译）

116.

Altam: In 20 years, I guarantee you, I willbe your second lover.

Milletian: What happened to my first lover?

Altam: Nothing that can be proved.

亚特：20年后，我向你保证，我会是你的第二个情人。

米莱西安：我的第一个情人怎么了？

亚特：没有什么可以证明有他。

117.

Kaour: Dai is a dumbass, but he's ourdumbass.

Dai: Kaour is kinda like a cactus, but Ilove him.

Logan: It's nice to see my fellow squireshaving romance talk, but Kanna accidentally set the kitchen on fire around halfan hour ago so please help.

卡沃尔：戴伊是个笨蛋，但他是我们的笨蛋。

戴伊：卡沃尔有点像个仙人掌，但我爱他。

洛根：看到我的骑士同伴在进行暧昧对话/在谈恋爱真不错，但卡娜不小心在大约半小时前烧了厨房所以请来帮忙。

118.

Caswyn: Huh, I arrived early for once.

Caswyn: What an achievement. I deserve areward.

Caswyn: *Goes to take a nap*

卡兹文：嚯，我早到了一次。

卡兹文：多么棒的成就。我值得一个奖励。

卡兹文：*去打盹*

119.

Milletian: ...

Beimnech: ...

Milletian: For the last time, we are NOTgoing to challenge people to duel at our wedding just because we proposed toeach other with swords.

Beimnech: Then what’s the point?

米莱西安：……

贝因克：……

米莱西安：最后一次，我们不会因为我们是用剑向对方求婚，就准备在我们的婚礼上向人们发起决斗挑战。

贝因克：那样有什么意义？

120.

Marleid: Oh my god, I think I broke my leg!

Cethlenn: Oh no, come here baby, Let’s putan ice pack over it.

Milletian: Shit, I think I broke my leg.

Cethlenn: Suffer.

马尔艾德：哦我的天，我觉得我摔断腿了！

凯赫林：哦不，到这来宝贝，让我们用冰袋敷在那上面。

米莱西安：靠，我觉得我摔断腿了。

凯赫林：忍着。

kafka

果真是公认的惨但为什么这么多前男友真的是前男友吗。
不要和贝因克结婚啊!

悲铃空幻

米莱西安好惨哦……根本不幸福！
以及不要跟贝因克结婚啊！快点离婚吧（喂）

eternal

121.

If you love someone enough to ruin hundredsof years worth of plans for, it’s always worth it.

— Talvish about the Milletian, after G21.

如果你足够爱某人以至于你毁掉了你耗费几百年计划的东西，那总是值得的。

——托尔维斯对米莱西安，在G21后

122.

Milletian in G1: So, to save the world, arethere like trials or an interview?

Milletian after G25: You just don't doanything I would do... and definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do. There'sa little gray area in there and that's where you operate.

米莱西安（G1时）：所以，拯救世界，那是个审判还是个面试？

米莱西安（G25后）：你不要做我会做的事情……当然，也不要做我不会做的事情。这里有块灰色区域，是你能够操作的地方。

123.

Milletian: If I cut off my leg...

Milletian: ...and swing it at your head

Milletian: Am I hitting or kicking you?

Merlin: You'll probably mentally scar memore than anything.

米莱西安：如果我切下我的腿……

米莱西安：……然后用它对准你的头打过去

米莱西安：我这算是打你还是踢你？

梅林：比起别的，你这会给我带来精神创伤。

124.

Marleid: Tell him off, Piran! Assertyourself!

Piran: That’s my ice cream cone!

Marleid: Great, now let him have it!

Piran: You can have it!

马尔艾德：告诉他，菲尔安！坚守你的权利！

菲尔安：那是我的卷筒冰淇淋！

马尔艾德：很好，现在让他拿走冰淇淋！

菲尔安：你可以带走它！

125.

Llywelyn: I made tea.

Marleid: Sorry, but I don't want tea.

Llywelyn: I didn't make tea for you. Thisis my tea.

Marleid: Then why did you tell me?

Llywelyn: It's a conversation starter.

Marleid: That's a terrible conversationstarter!

Llywelyn: Oh, is it? We're conversing.Checkmate.

卢埃林：我泡了茶。

马尔艾德：抱歉，我不想喝。

卢埃林：我不是为你泡的。这是我的。

马尔艾德：那为什么你要告诉我？

卢埃林：这是在挑起话头。

马尔艾德：这个也太糟糕了！

卢埃林：哦是吗？但我们正在对话了。将军。

126.

Llywelyn: Hmm. It's April Fool's today.

Llywelyn: Do you still plan to ask theMilletian out?

Altam: Yeah!

Llywelyn: Ask them out later, if they sayyes, it's all good. If they say no, scream "APRIL FOOLS!" in theirface and run off.

Altam: That's...genius!

卢埃林：嗯……今天是愚人节。

卢埃林：你还在计划着约米莱西安出去吗？

亚特：是啊！

卢埃林：待会约他出去，如果他说好，那一切都好。如果他拒绝，就在他面前喊“愚人节快乐”然后跑掉。

亚特：这真是……妙啊！


127.

Piran: Deirbhile's at that very special agewhen a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Milletian: Boys?

Piran: Homicide.

菲尔安：戴尔布拉正处于女孩的那个非常特殊的，脑海里只有一件事的时期。

米莱西安：男孩？

菲尔安：杀人。


128.

Llywelyn: If you had to separate Altam from49 other identical doppelgangers that were all equally excited to see you, howwould you determine which is the real Altam?

Milletian: I would take all 50 Altams homeand live like a king.

卢埃林：如果你不得不把亚特从其他四十九个与他长得一模一样的、同样兴奋地看着你的人里分出来，你如何分辨出哪个是真正的亚特？

米莱西安：我会把这五十个亚特都带走并过上国王般的生活。


129.

Milletian: I’m fine.

Merlin: You're fine? That's good. I’m gonnaput that on your tombstone. 'They said they were fine. They were wrong.'

米莱西安：我很好。

梅林：你很好？那挺好的。我准备把这句话刻在你的墓碑上。“他说自己很好。他错了。”


130.

Milletian: If I were about to walk off acliff, what would you do?

Ruairi: Push.

Milletian: I don’t believe that.

Ruairi: You would on the way down.

米莱西安：如果我正准备离开悬崖，你会做什么？

鲁拉里：推。

米莱西安：我不相信。

鲁拉里：那你会在下山的路上。

eternal

131.

Eiren: You read my diary?!

Milletian: At first I did not know it wasyour diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

艾尔伦：你读了我的日记？！

米莱西安：一开始我不知道那是你的日记。我觉得那是一本悲伤的手写书。

132.

Talvish: Milletian, it’s time to wake up.

Milletian, in the Elder’s coffin: I’m notsleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.

托尔维斯：米莱西安，该醒了。

米莱西安（躺在圣所的棺材里）：我不是在睡觉，我已经死了。把花放下然后出去。

133.

Cethlenn: I'm trying to get over my angerproblems.

Marleid: You just thundered the Milletian!

Cethlenn: I said I was trying!

凯赫林：我在努力解决我的愤怒问题。

马尔艾德：你刚刚在恐吓米莱西安！

凯赫林：我说我在努力解决！

134.

Caswyn: Sorry I'm late.

Talvish: What happened?

Caswyn: Nothing, I just really didn't wantto come.

卡兹文：抱歉我来迟了。

托尔维斯：发生了什么？

卡兹文：没什么，我只是真的不想来。

135.

Milletian: Hey Altam, what’s that?

Altam: Oh, that’s my to-do list.

Milletian: Is it just my name?

Altam: No! Of course not!

Milletian, reading the list: Tell the MilletianI love them.

米莱西安：嘿亚特，那是什么？

亚特：哦，那是我的待办清单。

米莱西安：那上面是我的名字吗？

亚特：不！当然不是！

米莱西安（读清单）：告诉米莱西安我爱他。


136.

Milletian: I've decided I am planning awedding.

Piran: Whose?

Milletian: Marleid and Cethlenn's.

Piran: They're engaged?

Milletian: Not yet.

米莱西安：我决定了我要计划一个婚礼。

菲尔安：谁的？

米莱西安：马尔艾德和凯赫林。

菲尔安：他们订婚了？

米莱西安：还没。

137.

Milletian: Don't worry, I'm fine.

Altam: You got stabbed, Milletian! You'renot "fine"!

Milletian: I've been stabbed before!

Merlin: You do understand that you don'tbuild up an immunity to stab wounds right?

米莱西安：别担心，我没事。

亚特：你被捅伤了，米莱西安！你不是“没事”！

米莱西安：我以前也被捅过！

梅林：你真的明白你不会对被捅伤产生抗体的，对吧？


138.

Beimnech So, are we flirting or fightingright now?

Milletian:

Milletian: My hand is literally around yourthroat.

Beimnech: That doesn't answer my question.

贝因克：所以，我们现在是在调情还是在打架？

米莱西安：

米莱西安：我的手正真的掐着你的喉咙。

贝因克：那不能回答我的问题。

139.

Beimnech: Choke me all you want, I'm intothis shit.

Milletian, slowly lets go and wipes theirhands: No thanks.

贝因克：按你想的掐死我吧，我真的喜欢这个。

米莱西安（缓缓地松开并擦手）：谢谢，不了。

（……………………我翻不出来这个shit！！！我好想翻成“我喜欢这种play”！！！【）


140.

Fodla: *Hugs Treasure Hunter*

Cethlenn: You're awfully quiet, Deirbhile.

Deirbhile, looking at Treasure Hunter:Nobody plans a murder out loud.

波德拉：*拥抱宝物猎人*

凯赫林：你安静得可怕，戴尔布拉。

戴尔布拉（看着宝物猎人）：没有人会大声地密谋一场谋杀。

悲铃空幻

我好好奇这个人对戴尔布拉的定义啊

eternal

这个段子我一定要单独发出来并且标显眼【】

Am I a boy? Am I a girl? I can be both andeverybody finds me hot, so that makes everybody gay.

— Milletian

我是男孩？我是女孩？我两边都可以，每个人都觉得我很辣，所以每个人都可以是gay。

——米莱西安

kafka

草亚当斯梗脑子里出现画面了为什么是米线说男孩啊你脑子里才是男孩吧!
这个国王般的生活草死绝地大草这个米线怎么回事说的话都好烦好米线这个高光句真的好寄吧在理啊
大草原错乱

吃我大枣糕

看到128我瞬间起立鼓掌 这就是流氓三光米莱西安人会做出的选择！
个人感觉游戏里的贝因克蛮S的 和他的战役中被杀死一次又一次的同时还会被他diss快点起来继续嗨 这里的贝因克总感觉好M啊【感叹

eternal

前方璜段子出没警告

141.

Elsie: Strawberry milk is delicious.

Kaour: Did you know that the red cochinealpigment often used in strawberry milk is collected from insects?

Elsie:

艾尔西：草莓牛奶真美味。

卡沃尔：你知道草莓牛奶中常用的胭脂虫红色素是从昆虫身上采集的吗？

艾尔西：

142.

Altam, walking into Llywelyn's bedroom: Soyou two ARE having sex!

[Milletian and Llywelyn, lying on the bedand reading]

Llywelyn: We are? Milletian, why didn't youtell me? I'd have put my book down.

亚特（闯进卢埃林的卧室）：所以你们两个是在做爱！

【米莱西安和卢埃林躺在床上读书】

卢埃林：我们在做爱？米莱西安，为什么你不告诉我？我得放下我的书。

143.

Milletian: If you can't beat them, dressbetter than them.

米莱西安：如果你打不过他们，就穿得比他们更漂亮。

144.

Talvish: I have some bad news.

Milletian: You're dying?

Talvish: No, not that bad.

Milletian: I'm dying?

托尔维斯：我有一些坏消息。

米莱西安：你要死了？

托尔维斯：不，没有那么坏。

米莱西安：我要死了？

145.

Cethlenn: You see this? This is my "Idon't care" face.

Piran: That's your everyday face.

凯赫林：你看到了吗？这是我“我不在意”的表情。

菲尔安：你每天都是这个表情。

146.

Talvish: Altam! The Milletian is in theriver and I don’t think they’re waterproof!

Altam: What?

Llywelyn: He means the Milletian isdrowning.

Altam: Oh ok.

Altam:

Altam: waIT-

托尔维斯：亚特！米莱西安掉进河里了而我不觉得他防水！

亚特：什么？

卢埃林：他意思是米莱西安要淹死了。

亚特：

亚特：等——

147.

Milletian: Why are we laying on the ground?

Merlin: You got knocked down so I laid nextto you so everyone would just think we were chillin'.

米莱西安：为什么我们躺在地上？

梅林：你被撞倒了，所以我躺在你旁边，这样每个人都会觉得我们只是在休息。

148.

Ruairi: You're pretty dumb.

Milletian: Thanks.

Ruairi: Why are you thanking me? I justinsulted you.

Milletian: All I heard was "You'repretty."

Milletian: I'm focusing on the positives inlife.

鲁拉里：你真是（pretty）个蠢货。

米莱西安：谢谢。

鲁拉里：你谢我什么？我是在辱骂你。

米莱西安：我听到的只是“你很漂亮（pretty）”。

米莱西安：我着眼于生活中的积极事物。

149.

Milletian: Beimnech, you're so beautiful.

Beimnech: Oh? How beautiful?

Milletian: So beautiful, that if I set youon fire and threw you into the dumpster, you'd still look like the fresh,handsome, egotistical asshole I always knew.

米莱西安：贝因克，你真的很漂亮。

贝因克：哦？怎么个漂亮法？

米莱西安：太漂亮了，以至于即使我把你放火里烧再扔你进大垃圾桶，你看起来还是像我认识的那个清新、帅气、任性傲慢的混账。

150.

Milletian: Is something burning?

Beimnech, leaning seductively against hissword: Just my desire for you-

Milletian: Bangor is on fire!

米莱西安：有什么在烧吗？

贝因克（以一个勾人的姿势靠在他的剑上）：只是我对你的渴望——

米莱西安：班格着火了！